Hello everyone! Happy Thursday!
As you are reading this post I am very well not paying attention in my literature class’s discussion on Emma, but multi-tasking and studying for my Dress Codes midterm exam, that I have right after this class. As much as I love reading, especially historical fiction, ESPECIALLY the regency era. I have had little to no time to do that (remember, no sleep?). I stayed up until four in the morning yesterday (today?), both studying and reading fan fiction. Ironically a Royal Vmin AU instead of reading for the class I’m currently in.
But anyways fifteen index cards later, I still don’t feel good about this exam coming up. Hence I am now studying, writing, and once and awhile nodding to make it seem like I’m paying attention. Mid Terms just hit full force, and that added to working all weekend leaves me with little to no time for social interactions. I haven’t hung out with any of my suite mates freely (without the nagging voice in my head reminding me of everything I have to do) when I am in-between studying, working, and sleeping.
Why do I feel like I’m just bullshitting through all of my classes? What happened to the Cyndi that was a really good student and got straight A’s, where did everything go wrong?
Also for the record, I have been sleeping in every Tuesday and Thursday until 1:00PM, I have class at 2:00PM. Yup, I get up at 1:00PM and then takes a twenty minute shower before throwing on any clothes I can find in my hamper (which consists of both my clean and dirty clothes). My life is a mess but what else is new? Right? -insert twitching smile here-
I just discovered yesterday that taking a nap after my Stats class (that gets out at 11:15AM) is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. That nap wasn’t something I thought I needed until I fell asleep with my phone on my face, and if you all follow me on twitter I had a very detailed and strange dream. (Follow my kpop twitter @xocynnamonbun, and if you want to help my sad following of my personal @xocyndilou, woo shameless plugs) I’ll detail the dream on here.
It started off with me at work, and I was pretty sure it was at Macy’s and wow was it a nightmare. It was probably because of the recent end of our “great boot shoe sale”. There was a woman, who was really nice. She wanted to buy like seven to eight dresses and a bunch of other things all totaling up to over $2000. I was excited, and so excited that I kept scanning things and forgetting what I scanned which in turn made me anxious. I kept deleting the whole list and starting over again, and I started panicking because I was taking too long. So I told her, “Hey I’ll ring this all up for you and you can just come pick it up and buy it tomorrow.” Which is something that isn’t store policy so I didn’t know why I suggested that, she was fine with that and left.
Then my dream time skipped or if it didn’t I don’t know what happened after that, I get into work the next day and there’s a line that stretches from the register all the way to the other side of the store. all of them holding shoes. I recognize the lady I was helping the day before and pulled her aside making the line of vicious customers glare at me, I ran to the back and saw that only half of her dresses were there the other half were all put away because I didn’t hold it right. She was fine with the half, but then she wanted to return the entire purchase an hour later. Thus I could only picture the negative 2000 dollars in sales for the day in my name.
Out of nowhere, literally, a sunglasses man with a mustache walks in and stands right next to the long line. And the angry customers all turn to stare at me again, but then one of them stops,
“Wait isn’t that Wang Eun?” She asked and then whispers/talking erupted through the line, and I looked over to see Baekhyun waving at me. Dream self me was really comfortable with seeing him, as if we’re like best friends. But I walked over to him and asked him what he was doing here, and he answered well I just wanted to see you at work. My boss (who wasn’t actually my boss in real life) shooed us home because we were causing extra problems. So I left with him, and we went back to this five story building that was really tall. Like touching the sky tall. I walked in and there were so many stairs. So many. Baekhyun lead me all the way to the top, I saw briefly a few members entering in and out. Chanyeol, my bias, showed up once but disappeared into the room immediately. So once I got to the top, I saw two floating beds, or was a hammock. Whatever it was, Suho was in one and Sehun was in the other but then Sehun climbed into Suho’s hammock/bed and they cuddled as if Sehun was a child and Suho was his mother.
Then my alarm rudely woke me up, luckily being me I set an alarm an hour earlier than the time I actually have to be up so I snoozed and went back into dreamland. Surprisingly, EXO was gone. And I was suddenly with BTS, was it in their dance practice room? But they were teaching me 21st Century Girl more specifically Namjoon of all people. But then Kookie was like hey let’s go the haunted house, and if any of you all know me, I hate all things horror. I’m a scaredy cat. I’ll admit it. So somehow we all ended up going, so we go up to this giant building that had a nice green lawn in front of it. But the sky was gray and the house itself was more of a building. A really tall gray building.
We all enter it and I’m calm so far, but I’m near the front with Kookie and V considering they were the most excited. We come across a glowing wall that’s changing colors and it’s one of those walls/paintings that if you stare at it long enough it’ll become something creepy, scary, and haunting. So it did, and I screamed, Yoongi screamed. Everyone stared at us, and more particularly me because I fell and started crying and screaming while staring down the eery long dark green lighted hallway that led to the rest of the haunted building. So I asked if I could leave, Yoongi agrees and he leaves with me. We sit outside, and he awkwardly comforts me. Before suggesting that we play UNO while we wait for the rest to come out. So out of nowhere these cards come out and we start playing. He wins the game, and starts dancing.
And then I woke up and had to go to class. Ah, dreams. Aren’t they delightful, and for some odd reason it put me in such a great mood for the rest of the day. I felt more productive, and strangely happy although nothing in the dream really comforted me or really gave me any insight to where my life is currently at.
And all was great until we started watching the presidential debate, and for everyone not from the US reading. We are three weeks away from having a new president, and our options are Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. And that scares the living shit out of me, it scares me that Donald Trump is a candidate, Hillary is also quite a sketchy person herself but at this point would I rather have a sketchy person who has many secrets or someone racist, homophobic, sexist, and stupid for president? The ideal answer would be none but since I have to choose as a person of color with former immigrant parents, I would feel safer with Hillary.
It is just scary that Trump’s following is so aggressive, so for him that they are blinded by everything that he does. Everything. He can rape someone, make sexual comments, and cheat money from our government however they can still accuse his actions for that. The fact that during the debate he said addressing the women coming out to speak against him, “They just want their 10 minutes of fame.” Just makes me want to throw up, there are so many victims of sexual assault and violence that still to this day cannot speak up because they are afraid of being blamed, afraid of being judged, of being called an “attention seeker” and this man, who doesn’t understand anything about it, might be our next president?
Someone who silences the voices that make us America, we are a country made from differences, opportunities, and different cultures. That’s what makes us different from many other homogeneous countries around the world. How are we going to continue being a country filled with opportunities, liberty, and freedom when we are trying to eliminate the features that makes America what it is today? America is supposed to be a place where people can live their dreams, speak their mind, and live freely without hurting or killing other people.
^ -insert breath here- I just ranted to everyone about how vulgar I think that Donald Trump is, and I just realized that this entire post had little Kpop in it. So I just want to deter this course of conversation from politics to VMIN.
I have feels. I always have VMIN feels.
THEY ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER. Jimin is like extra clingy with Tae this comeback and I love it. They are friendship goals, relationship goals, goals goals. I don’t know. It’s nice to see my bias and bias ruiner so happy, and hearing what they say about each other in interviews. And just knowing how much they love and support each other, it makes me smile while I am cramming in studying time or on a break from work scrolling through twitter/tumblr.
Find happiness in other people’s lives, and instead of feeling bitter or sad about your own life, be happy for them and believe (truly) that one day you’ll be just as happy and they will also be happy for you. Live in a world where everyone can be happy for one another, and create a community where people believe that their voices will be heard, as well as they’re safe to just live.
-insert another breath here- I am in a weird ranting mood I guess. That also was sentimental, I’m secretly sentimental. Just don’t hug me unless I let you, always ask first. -thumbs up-
Until next time, have a terrific day! 🙂 ❤
& for my college peoples who are going through midterms, good luck remember grades don’t define you. I’ll be sending you good vibes as usual! ❤