Demian, Moon Lovers (again), & WINGS TOUR!

Hello Everyone! Happy Monday!
(I wrote this on Sunday and then left it to be finished, today. So once again instead of doing whatever it is I was doing in this blog post, I’m finishing it in the middle of my marketing class)


HEY ALL! I am currently sitting in the 7th floor common room watching Sammi bake cheesecake pie, and it’s really interesting let me tell you. And I would help her but as many of you who might be reading might know (or might not) the last time I tried baking my kitchen started smoking, and I had a mini panic. Welp. Watching is fun, I guess. -insert ugly wink here-

ANYWHO, while Sammi is mixing this batter. I want to talk to ya’ll about the mental journey I have went through for the past two days, because of Demian. DEMIAN THE STORY OF EMIL SINCLAIR AKA the book that the BTS theories are all based off of. I had to read it to try and understand this theory. I made it my mission since the trilogy wings trailer came out and destroyed me. Like literally threw my brain in a frenzy, I watched the video like fifteen times before I actually processed any of it.

First of all, KIM TAEHYUNG! HOW DARE YOU? Kim Taehyung gives me trust issues, are you Demian? Are you the reason why everyone is cracking? Are you Icarus or are you a fallen angel?! And who is everyone else?!

Second. THE BUTTERFLY THAT IS ON YOONGI’S LIPS. OMG. IT’S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL SHOT. BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN? Like you know? What is this butterfly symbolizing and why does Yoongi look like the emo boys I used to want to cry and cuddle with?


Third. Jimin and Kookie crying tears from different eyes, does this mean they’re just mere reflections of each other?  And the fire swinging? Is everyone just a pyromaniac over at Big Hit Entertainment?


Are we even real? Or is everything just a dream? And what is real? Is everything related to this theory? WHERE ARE WE ALL IN THE WORLD? WHO IS ABRAXAS?! AM I SINCLAIR?! -goes through mini existential crisis-

-clears throat- So I read Demian to try and see if it’ll help me understand this theory better, only for it to give me a major headache. I have come to the conclusion that Yoongi is Pistorius, because who else plays the organ? Which means that he helps lead Sinclair in the right direction, however he himself cannot move on. Thus, it would make sense if Sinclair is Jungkook because they’re paired up together. But at the end of it all, I still have no clue who the other members are. -cries-

Except I’m pretty sure V is Demian since he is the ethereal creature, and he has the wings and is almost always a link to the “bad realm” because of the murdering of his father(?). But then again, Big Hit likes to play games so who knows. Trust issues. I don’t know if he’s good or bad, or maybe it’s not that simple. Who knows? Probably Bang PD and Rap Mon.-insert pout here- WHAT IS THE TRUTH?!

EITHER WAY, the book is going to be reread soon. Since I processed close to nothing. I am going to buy a giant poster paper board thing, and draw a graph/diagram linking everyone to each character or general story plot idea, and then try to make sense of it. I promise myself this. And ya’ll know how ambitious I am. -insert another ugly wink-

Speaking of ambition, I finally forced myself to cross Moon Lovers off my list of dramas I’m watching. And the ending was good, but I feel like it could’ve been better. Only because it left me off with so many questions like what happened with Baek Ah? And why is it that Ji Mong shows up in her future life again but no one else, and what happens after that? And So said he’s going to find her but like, how? Did Princess Yeonhwa’s son become king? I need an alternate ending! And I also need Wang Eun and Soondeok to own a toy store in the future. -cries-

ALSO (I’m needy af wow). JUNG DESERVES TO BE LOVED, HE IS SO ADORABLE -sobs- I had so many feels, he just loved her to the very end but Hae Soo just didn’t love him back, even though he did so much for her. Even past her death. Side note, her daughter is mad cute.

-breathes heavily- I just need Jung to be happy, and Hae Soo to become her old spunky self again.

UPDATE: I just watched Mamamoo’s comeback mv, I know I’m slow af. I’ve been so tired, I barely had time to kpop which is not good for me since I used kpop to destress and chill.

BUT I WATCHED IT AND IT WAS SO AMAZING. My aesthetic, you know? The artistic museum/architecture, the clothing choices, and the dancing. The mirror thing was so cool! I love them so much -cries-. They are literally so talented.

Shoutout to Baekhyun for being so in love with Mamamoo at the Melon Music Awards. He was literally so funny, compared to all the other reactions he was most beagle like during their performance.

SECOND UPDATE: (this is what happens when you don’t finish writing in one day and go back to it, I wasn’t the same person I was yesterday!) I had another weird dream. Like it was really strange this time and slightly sentimental. -strokes imaginary beard- So I don’t remember most of it but the parts I do remember are the weirdest parts.

So I came home from wherever I was for Thanksgiving, and on the way there I was playing Pokemon Go, and was trying really hard to catch a Charzard that was in the middle of the road, and kept failing and catching things like Pidgeys and I think Gasly(s)? Something like that a purple pokemon.

But anyways when I got home, it was as if time warped back and it was back in the old days. We were all sitting at a long dinner table (with random people, who I don’t know and aren’t my family, or friends either) and the only one I recognize was my co-worker, who kept looking in my general direction. Since he was the only person I knew I kept looking over at him too. There was this girl that got paired up with him for conversation, it was a weird custom that everyone participated in. We all were to speak to the person n front of us, I got paired up with a girl that was really mean to my co-worker’s partner. But she was nice to me, so apparently the girl paired up with my CW (co-worker) worked for the girl I was talking to, and it was almost like a Cinderella kind of thing with the hierarchy between the two girls. And I was at the same level as my partner in terms of power.

So after this conversation I went to eat at what seems like the Cheesecake Factory, again with no one, no one that I know currently in my life. But it seemed like I knew them in my dream because I was doing everything at my free will. I think that it was a time skip, or maybe I forgot what happened between that one moment and this one. So I bumped into the mean girl at the Cheesecake Factory and I asked her about the cinderella girl, and she got aggressive and yelled at me in the middle of the store. I remember not being so off-putting or upset about it. But then there was another time skip and here’s where things became even weirder.

So I arrived at my destination after getting onto a car again, and I arrive at this house that reminds me of my aunt’s house but it’s not actually my aunt’s house. And I was to stay on the third floor, the attic. There was a person who looked familiar but wasn’t actually anyone I knew specifically. So there were three cats upstairs, and she assigned me to a cat. Which happened to also be a person (I guess I read too many hybrid au fan fictions), so I remember the three cats being Hoseok, Jungkook, and I want to say Taehyung, or Seokjin, or Namjoon. It was someone who wasn’t my bias or someone from BTS who didn’t make me freak out. But anyways I went upstairs with Hoseok who she assigned me with and it was whatever, he became a cat and we got along well enough. But then I walked into the cat area to pick him up, Jungkook cat (who belonged to her) jumped onto my arms and refused to let go. He seemed to really like me, and I thought the cat was adorable. I remember cuddling with it and all (I guess I’m not allergic to cats in my dream). But I think she was slowly getting mad her chosen cat likes me so I tried to let him go. I tried really hard to get him off me, but he refused and started making weird cat noises. Hoseok didn’t even care really, he just watched in cat form. I once again tried and instead this time Jungkook’s cat claws dug into my arms, and I remember it started bleeding but it didn’t hurt at all, it was as if I myself took my fingernails and dug them into my skin.

Then I woke up.


Third Update: A shorter one, I just remembered that before this dream I had another dream about myself and my friends in our school dining hall. This was last night’s dream while the one before this was just a dream I had before class. I was dating Chanyeol, and he was showing us what his new commercial made him do. It was a weird dance and weird lines accompanying the dance. I remember us all laughing at him and him pouting before throwing me into a hug. It was cute. Sentimental and makes me kind of vomit a bit, but cute nonetheless.

ANYWAYS -insert another transition here-

I’m willing to sell my soul to be able to meet and befriend BTS, also to go to their concert in Newark. I am willing to literally burst into flames at every church for this opportunity. BTS IS GOING TO NEWARK. BTS IS GOING TO BE CLOSE (as close as it can be really) TO ME. I CAN JUST JUMP ON A TRAIN AND FIND THEM.




Last time I saw Jimin at KCON, on stage. He didn’t look down but he was right in front of me and I almost peed my pants/self destructed in the crowd. IF I GOT TO MEET THEM OR IF THEY NOTICED ME I THINK I’LL JUST START WEEPING. I’m already ready to weep now just thinking about it. I just want to be snow/snapchat best friends with them, I mean dating them would be great but just exchanging snaps and being long distant besties would be fabulous. I’d be content with that. -dreams-


LOL My marketing professor just he’s proud that I’m surviving the front lines of Macy’s on the sales floor. He said something about me being both a marketing pro because of my classes and sales pro for selling directly to the people. At least someone likes my job. Speaking of, random update on that. My credit is extremely low, thus I need to stop calling out and need to work more. Well now I have different things I want to buy anyways. LIKE THE BTS CONCERT TICKETS, and of course my future apartment, and BOBBA MY FUTURE BULLDOG. -weeps- Maybe I should get a cat and name it Kookie. Nah.

Anyways, I’m going to end it here! Until next time! Good vibes to all! Have a wonderful Monday! (as wonderful Mondays can be, I’m flipping exhausted)

FOURTH UPDATE: Sammi just put herself into a birthing position, and made herself go through fake contractions. Going 110% when it comes to studying, I wish I can take photos but I want this blog post update to be a surprise for Sammi when she reads this. I’m covering my eyes, cause you know I don’t want to see birth obstacles and pain until I myself give birth. I figured there has to be a reason why frail ass men pass out during birth right? Or is that just in the movies?


ANYWAYS! GOOD BYE. I LOVE YOU ALL IN A NON-SENTIMENTAL WAY. I hope you all read that as me yelling at you, love you. Good vibes. BYE!


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