Hello everyone! Happy Friday Night! If you’re reading this, thanks cause I know unlike me ya’ll are popular and probably have plans & stuff. 😀
For everyone that had the unfortunate of communicating with me today. I am a mess, not even a hot mess but just a mess. I didn’t sleep last night and has had bad sleep for the past week since I’ve been back at college. It’s weird because I didn’t sleep well at home but I also can’t sleep here either. Maybe it has something to do with the stresses in my life. Let me tell you, when I am tired and stressed…
Cue Moody Cyndi.
Moody Cyndi, is frankly, a blunt bitch. Let me tell you, when I’m stressed and tired at the same time and running on no sleep. Expect no lady-like manners or filters. Everything that comes to my mind I say without thinking of consequences or feelings for any other party. Also expect me yawning in the middle of your conversation with me, or me just plain out placing you out. Or me just looking like I’m glaring at you. Trust me it’s not you, it’s literally anything and everything that is not relaxing and sleeping. I also start to get impatient, I was supposed to save the presents I got everyone in my suite however, when I received it in the mail. I couldn’t wait to open it and give it to them. However I being the difficult person that I am still wanted to wrap it, so I made two of my suite mates turn around while I wrap their presents. Messily. Not my best work. -face palm- Now part two of their presents are going to arrive and it’s going to be awkward giving them another present, way to be overbearing Cyndi. In addition to my mood swings, I am more sentimental, want to hug everyone and fall asleep. And I stutter. I can’t form words, and can’t think of words to form before just blurting them out. Making many, many, many mistakes whenever I’m speaking.
I’m a mess. I need sleep. I need cuddles. I NEED MY BULLDOG AND CHANYEOL. -weeps silently- (I’m pathetic LOL)
Speaking of my noodle though, and also the reason why I didn’t sleep last night was because it was the MAMA Awards! Woo! It was great! It was my first time live streaming it, and it was strange. First of all…. A six hour long award ceremony? What? American’s keep it like two hours and three at the max, and still cut people short of their speeches! It was also a long and tough road trying to find a live stream that worked, KCON was down, and other websites were freezing. It took at least 40 minutes to find a somewhat good one. I went to bed at one, because fan fiction distracted me. And woke up at the bright and early time of 4AM! -cue tired yay-
It took me five snoozes after my 3:30AM alarm to wake up and rub sleep out of my eyes, I woke up my roommate and then my suite mate before we quickly pulled up this lifestream and hooked it up to the TV.
The Red Carpet took two hours! Which was nice but not at the same time, it was nice because we got to see everyone that came, and what their thoughts re on so and so. Then we get to see what they where and such. It was not because it took two hours, and despite me loving everyone. A tired Cyndi is a moody one, and a moody one is an impatient one. I just wanted to see BTS and EXO perform already.
ALSO. LET ME JUST ADD. THERE WAS THIS ONE COMMERCIAL THAT REPEATED FOR AGES. ABOUT GOING TO MACAO.
Don’t get me wrong, Macao seems like a great city but after being drilled with the same cheesy tone trying to get me to buy tickets to visit there. I really don’t want to go there. At all.
Anyways, time skip past a couple of awards and performances. Also note: GFRIEND & Seventeen were so adorable! -cries-, FANXYCHILD. DEAN CRUSH AND ZICO -cries harder-.
BTS WON DANCE CHOREO AND I WAS SHOOK. Like I’m so proud of them, but like they were shook. Like I don’t think they thought they were going to get it. I think the fan favorite and the “most likely” to win would be EXO. As per usual. BUT THEY WON! And it was so amazing, I love how they let Hobi do the speech and lead the way as he is the choreography leader. Joonie’s cheesy ass dad smile, like the “I’m so proud of you, son” smile.
AND THEN THEIR PERFORMANCE. HOW DARE YOU? I’m already so lost on this theory trying to figure out who is Demian, Sinclair, Abraxas, etc. And you throw in what possible is the most theory-related and very well thought out theory evidence performance I have ever witnessed! FIRST OF ALL.
Kookie’s hanging again, and side note again, I was actually more terrified for him than the theory in this moment. I really didn’t want him to fall or anything like that. The kid is really fearless. Anyways. He’s hanging and then out of nowhere cuts to HOBI WHO DOES THE BOY MEETS EVIL DANCE. Which I expected because when you have a kpop twitter, you know all of these things. And things were pretty fine and dandy until, HIS BLUE LIGHT BACKGROUND WAS MATCHED WITH A RED LIGHT BACKGROUND NEXT TO HIM. AND LO AND BEHOLD WHO IS IT? PARK JIMIN.
With Red Light centered on him.
Dancing to LIE. AND THEN BOY MEETS EVIL TOO. In SYNC with HOBI!
-cue dramatic death-
Anywho back to the rest of the performance, like Jimin finishes it off takes off his blindfold and runs his hand through his hair again, like he doesn’t know it kills all of us and Taehyung. (Let’s be honest here Tae). They go immediately into Blood Sweat & Tears. And I’m like okay breathing. It’s okay. Blood Sweat & Tears comeback is all about Demian, whatever. I can stomach some more clues. BUT THEN.
KIM TAEHYUNG AND KIM SEOKJIN SLAYED ME, AND SLAYED THE ARMYS AND SLAYED THE WHOLE SHOW. IF I CAN EXPRESS HOW I FELT DURING THIS MOMENT IT IS:
LIKE HOLY HELL. WTH. I EXPECTED SEOKJIN TO GO AND MAKE OUT WITH ANOTHER STATUE, AND FOR TAEHYUNG TO SPROUT WINGS OR SOMETHING. BUT THIS.
HOW DARE YOU.
It’s official, Kim Taehyung gives me trust issues, commitment issues, feels control issues. We’re currently arguing TAEHYUNG.
Um, but like TaeJin! Like when I found out they were gonna be together I was like okay more theory but this. THIS was steamy af.
Like I intruded on a slightly sadistic tender ass moment. Thanks.
-clears throat- Ahem.
Okay so after that, FIRE WAS ALL RED, WHICH PROBS MEANS FIRE WAS WHEN THEY ALL WERE APART OF THE DARK SIDE. IF RED IS BAD AND BLUE IS GOOD THAT IS. And they blew the whole show out the window, it was lit af. There was fire, like hundreds of people dancing, red lights, like, I would have LOVED to be at that show. If they do that at Newark, I might just started internally bleeding. Allowing me to die a slow and painful death…
Moving on, -glares at BTS- so moving on from that however we may do so. The rest of the award show was super cool, it was weird because like despite no understanding something for six hours. Everytime someone felt something we felt it too, so we ended up crying with them, laughing with them, cringing with them, etc. It was kind of surreal. But maybe it’s because it was between the hours of five and nine, and none of us has had sleep.
I was v confused, during the whole thing. Also Chanyeol once more looks like he’s going to pass out, my poor noodle. Your health is very important please stay healthy! -cries- Lots of crying in this post really. Really. Lots.
But they did Transformer and I was like this is lit, “YOU SLOW DOWN THEN YOU SPEED UP” singing along and all of that, while they dance onto of that floating platform. I really worried for their safety also but that’s just me. BUT THEN.
There’s always a but then.
They did that robot film thing and I WAS SO CONFUSED. LIKE IF THE COLLARS WERE RED THAT MEANT THEY WERE HUMAN. BUT IN THE VIDEO KAI WAS RED, BUT ONSTAGE HE WAS GREEN. Does that mean he’s a robot?!
WHAT DO ROBOTS HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?!
And then they rebelled in Monster, before ending it off with a half shirtless Baekhyun which tbh killed me.
Side Note: BAEKHYUN AND ZHERA ARE ADORABLE, ALSO BAEKHYUN AND SUZY SINGING DREAM PLUS EXO’S JAMMING IS ALSO ADORABLE.
I was just confused and wished for more Chanyeol camera focuses -sighs-
However the part that really killed me was the end, first of all Twice won song of the year which is like great for them but I totally thought that it was either gonna be EXO, BTS, or GOT7 so I was kind of thrown off. BUT THEN.
How many times am I going to say BUT THEN? Idk tbh.
BTS WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR -cue joyous weeping-
I was fine. They won I was happy I was cheering all was well all was good. AND THEN NAMJOON STARTED CRYING. And Namjoon literally never cries. Like ever. He’s always the one that’s all calm and serious to comfort the members but there is NAMJOON crying all manly, and that got me to start going weak. And THEN Jin started crying beautifully, majestically even. And THEN they zoomed in on Kookie’s beautiful ass crying. AND THE TIPPING POINTS, Joonie says something along the lines of: “Let’s with our beautiful wings fly in 2017” and I started tearing up, AND THEN. MY SPIRIT ANIMAL. MY FUTURE PLATONIC SOULMATE (AKA BEST FRIENDS FOREVER) YOONGI, HE STARTED CRYING AND I LOST IT.
They deserve it, they are such talented people. I am so proud to stan them, and be here for there most memorable achievements. They never needed to prove themselves to the haters they didn’t need to win, because they didn’t just become valuable. They were always valuable and they will forever be wonderful, and even more amazing. They are talented and I am so happy for them! ❤
You would think that’s it, I’ve already cried more than I have in like half a year, but nope. Nope. EXO WINS ALBUM OF THE YEAR. And it’s like okay, fourth year in a row, first artist to do that. Okay that’s wonderful, that’s a little tears threatening to fall down my face worthy. THEN CHANYEOL SPOKE ON THE MIC, and I died. I started bawling like there was no tomorrow, like I didn’t have work in like two hours and haven’t eaten or moved in six hours. HE WAS SO CLOSE TO TEARS, and I didn’t even know what he said but it’s like I felt it. He was really grateful and humble, I LOVE HIM. I LOVE EXO. -cries- THEY HAVE COME SUCH A LONG WAY, FROM LOSING MEMBERS TO HEAVY SCHEDULES TO HEALTH COMPLICATIONS, THEY ARE STILL HERE AND I AM SO PROUD OF THEM. -continues to ugly cry-
Ahem. Ahem. -wipes face with tissues-
Let’s move on from that award show for now, and talk about my recent hobby that I picked up. So being me, I’m nuts. So I bought like a teacher’s chart paper package thing to create graphic organizers about Demian and relate them to BTS and their MV’s to finally figure out this theory. Because it’s still killing me. Like slowly on the inside. I need to know. Like really really bad. But anyways I got the paper, bought markers and after a few horus of charting out some details about the theory I was like. Hm. Why not just start drawing?
So it started as a nature drawing but then I wanted personified nature, so I drew faces on them. Obviously there was a tree, grass, the sun, and clouds, but no squirrels because they’re gross. Ahem.
Afterwards I drew myself but there were weird spaces here and there, so I asked Emmy what should I add and she suggested BTS. And I did it. I drew BTS. In stick figure forms, I tried to make it obvious which member was which only to fail with one member.
-insert deep sigh of guilt-
-cue dramatic gestures-
I’M SORRY KIM NAMJOON.
I tried to make it look like him at first but then I realized I messed up his hair and it didn’t look like him so I was like how can I hint that it’s him even though I messed up. So I drew him reading Demian and I thought that was obvious, but like then it really wasn’t so I drew a baseball cap and long jacket on him because he wears those but it was one of those things where the more you add the worse it becomes. I was my own enemy.
So to end things off I tried to draw Ryan the Bear on his shirt only to have it looking like Winnie The Pooh, so to make things easier I drew a speech bubble and wrote I heart Kanye in it. There can only be one member that is all of these details right?! -cries-
Here’s the drawing:
Ya’ll should draw too, it’s relieving almost. Especially when you get details right and draw exactly what you envision in your mind. 😉 I’m super proud of Kookie, Hobi, and Jin. Very high key, also VMIN.
Anyways, this blogpost is very long.
BUT TO LEAVE YOU OFF ON A FLUFFY ASS NOTE, VMIN IS SO FUCKING PRECIOUS.
KIM TAEHYUNG, YOU CAUSE ME STRESS BUT AS LONG AS YOU KEEP JIMIN HAPPY THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS. YA’LL ARE SO CUTE LIKE. RINGS. AND IS THAT FROM TIFFANY’S?
Am sorry for all of these caps! But hahaha I love you! Look forward to another post very soon, a more positive one with less crying and caps. 😀
Good vibes, adios!