[Challenge] Day 05 – Your Definition of Love

LOVE SUCKS. The End. 🙂
End of Challenge Post. I’m kidding, I’m kidding.
Sort of… -wink-

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I don’t like the word “love”

I feel like in our day and age, love has become a term that is just thrown around. People think love is having a partner that you spend most of your time with, and going on well thought out dates. Flowers, chocolates, and jewelry. Changing your Facebook relationship status. It has become a cultural archetype. Love means being in a relationship and cuddling, and sharing your life with someone.

For me, I’ve never heard the word love much as a little kid. And hearing it addressed to me, is uncomfortable to say the least. Even if we are best friends, it will take a couple of times before I can get used to them saying I love you.

I’m easily misunderstood, I’m so open and so articulate online. But in real life, and in the real world I tend to close myself off because I don’t know how to express myself really. I come off as a cold hearted bitch, and I know that. I don’t make the effort to talk to people first, I don’t trust people easily, and it will take you more than a couple of months before you really get to know me and I start talking to you/reaching out to you. I also stay to myself quite often, even in a group setting I tend to stick to one or two people, or even just to myself. So love for me, is understanding me and seeing where I’m coming from and recognizing that I am a flawed person. And that I cannot live up to someone else’s expectations.

It is not necessarily forgiving me for everything I do, but understanding where I am coming from and being flexible and accepting that there are things about me that cannot be changed because that’s who I am as a person.

I think love is understanding and showing them that you understand. If that makes sense.

If you love a person romantically, to make it easier understand let’s use me for example. If you love me then instead of trying to plan extravagant events and buying me chocolates, flowers, teddy bears, etc. Or texting me every hour, and staying up late talking to each other every night. Instead of doing all of those things, rather, travel with me. Take a day in with me. Cuddle with me when I don’t want to go anywhere because I don’t want to see people. Don’t laugh at me when I get panicked seeing a public toilet. Buy me a coffee when I’m tired, randomly slip me positive notes when it looks like I’m stressed. Remind me that I’m not a bad person, and that I’m just trying to grow up and become a person that everyone will be proud of. Tell me to take care of myself, and then distract me by taking me out to clear my head.

Get it? It’s like noticing the smallest things about someone and their quirks, embracing it and then trying to make them happy. That’s how I approach a romantic relationship. However love isn’t just romantic.

There’s family love, which I can’t really say I have in my family. But luckily being an only child, all my friends are my family, and that’s making sure there’s communication trust. And knowing that you all can go forever without talking but still be good friends no matter what.

And then of course the most important in my book. SELF LOVE.

How cheesy is it that I’m about to say this: “You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else!”

But it’s so true! You are your first priority, your happiness and who you are is the most important thing in your life. You are here with a purpose, you are a person with your own emotions, your own thoughts, ideas, beliefs, values. You are a complicated individual, and you deserve happiness, care, and love just like anyone else. So love yourself, not in the way Justin Bieber implied, but rather read a book and learn something.

Learning is a way to treat your brain, it takes you on an adventure and almost takes you out of your reality and into another realm. Listen to some music.

Music is soothing for your mind and your soul, even if the music is heavy metal, loud, incredibly long build ups and drops. Music soothes you, the sound of it calms you and also distracts you. But not only that but the lyrics if you choose to listen to them, also tell you that somewhere someone is also going through similar pains as you and that if they can survive so can you.

Sleep. Sleeping is medicine for your body. I think sleeping is amazing once you really have a good place to sleep curling up under the covers, your head hitting the cool pillow, your eyes closing, and you drifting off into a possible dream or a calm rest. I think that sleeping really helps you recenter, and regain your energy.

But yeah, as sentimental as that might seem. That’s my definition of love? Did I do that right? Who knows! But yes! Another challenge post done! 😉

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